Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now