I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize