I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.