Texts From Last Night

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you

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  (715): I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you http://tfl.nu/l21x
  Replies (18) Good night (970) Bad night (2150)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  she looked like the before picture.

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  (540): she looked like the before picture. http://tfl.nu/zq32
  Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (4071)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  "Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.

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  (309): "Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me. http://tfl.nu/fmev
  Replies (46) Good night (954) Bad night (3892)
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  (607): View more from New York

  just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.

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  (607): just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school. http://tfl.nu/1unl
  Replies (20) Good night (4522) Bad night (872)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"

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  (641): and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger" http://tfl.nu/o631
  Replies (20) Good night (5789) Bad night (2060)
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  (235): View more from

  I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.

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  (235): I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/7zv4
  Replies (55) Good night (2381) Bad night (6697)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.

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  (212): Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many. http://tfl.nu/dbug
  Replies (25) Good night (1550) Bad night (3670)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative

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  (603): No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative http://tfl.nu/aljj
  Replies (6) Good night (5589) Bad night (1219)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.

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  (443): He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits. http://tfl.nu/bqj0
  Replies (12) Good night (3537) Bad night (1231)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.

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  (316): This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school. http://tfl.nu/crw7
  Replies (21) Good night (990) Bad night (2198)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?

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  (818): I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal? http://tfl.nu/2gme
  Replies (6) Good night (1066) Bad night (798)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore

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  (702): I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore http://tfl.nu/7m2v
  Replies (3) Good night (1152) Bad night (914)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.

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  (503): I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today. http://tfl.nu/x4c9
  Replies (3) Good night (553) Bad night (354)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink

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  (817): If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink http://tfl.nu/nuwv
  Replies (1) Good night (733) Bad night (368)
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  (714): View more from California

  Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.

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  (714): Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy. http://tfl.nu/7mxk
  Replies (6) Good night (119) Bad night (378)

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