my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
