I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
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It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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