and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
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his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
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You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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