I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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