Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize