hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We had sex on a dog bed..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.