Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough