Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i drank out of a bidet.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
