Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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