so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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