Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
