end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
false alarm. still invincible.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
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