i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.