Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.