Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize