But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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