ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize