How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
