I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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