Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize