Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
