Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
