Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
