i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize