I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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