hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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