Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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