We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.