i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.