You made me cry and you don't even care
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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