Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
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then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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