Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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