hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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