I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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