White coat. Heels.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
