i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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