i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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