Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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