I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
