i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.