I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...