...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important