Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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