I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space