Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.