This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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