Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
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Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
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When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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