Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
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It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
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Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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