Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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