At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
