goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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