The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?