hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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