I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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