i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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